


Hypothetical Mother

by Monsieur_Grenouille



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: M/M, Protective Klaus Hargreeves, Stuttering Diego Hargreeves, Trans Ben is mentioned, kliego - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:28:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24117259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Monsieur_Grenouille/pseuds/Monsieur_Grenouille
Summary: Klaus always gets emotional about Mother's Day, so Diego creates a hypothetical mother for them to do things for.
Relationships: Diego Hargreeves/Klaus Hargreeves
Comments: 6
Kudos: 53





	Hypothetical Mother

**Author's Note:**

> I know I’m late for Mother’s Day. I know this sucks. I know I sound like a little kid when I write. There's just so much that goes on in my brain and I feel like I don't often have all the words to say it, so it ends up being some sloppy mess of useless dialogue, too many commas, and too many compound sentences. I'm trying my hardest, though. This is my attempt at expressing myself.

Klaus woke up first. It was 5:39, and it only took him a few seconds to realize it was Mother’s Day. He got out of bed and walked to the bathroom. He put toothpaste on his toothbrush and only brushed his teeth for about a minute, then hesitated before slowly walking to Diego’s room. He knocked softly. “Di?” he said, his voice barely a whisper. 

He could hear Diego shuffling over to the door. Diego opened up and looked him in the eye. “K-Klaus? Why are you a-awa-awake?” Number Two pulled him inside and closed the door. Klaus hugged him, on the verge of tears. 

“It’s Mother’s Day and we can’t celebrate,” he whimpered. 

Diego sighed. This happened every year. Klaus would wake up on Mother’s Day, then obsess and mope about how he can’t do anything special for anyone. When they were seven, he tried to treat Diego like his mom. Diego had to sit down with him and discuss the situation, but he never told him that he still had the card. “Klaus, I don’t kn-kn-kn-know how many times I have to tell you; w-we have a m-mo-mom. A-And you can d-do something for her, okay?” 

Klaus shook his head. “She won’t understand. She won’t feel anything. She’s a robot, Di. She may look like our mother, but she’s not.” He had tears in his eyes. Diego put his hand on Klaus’s cheek and pulled him in for a kiss. Klaus melted into it, weak at the touch. They were only sixteen, but Diego and Klaus had already found their way around how they’re not real brothers. No one else knew about their relationship, though. 

“I l-love your cur-c-curly hair,” Diego whispered. 

Klaus smiled and pecked him on the lips. “I know. I’m still really hung up on the Mother’s Day thing, though. You can’t just kiss me and expect me to–“ 

“I kn-kn-know. You were on the verge of tears, K, I couldn’t j-ju-just leave you crying. Wh-What should we do for Mother’s Day? Maybe we should have a mother's day celebration for a non-existent mother. Like Grace, b-b-but with feelings."

Klaus wiped his eyes and sat down on Diego's bed. Not being suggestive or anything. He just wanted to sit. Diego sat next to him and held his hand. "Maybe we should cook something for this hypothetical mother?" 

Diego smiled. "Maybe we sh-sh-should. Can I g-get a few more m-m-min-min-minutes of sleep? It can r-really make a difference in my m-m-mood.” 

Klaus chuckled. “Yeah... if I can sleep next to you.” He laid down on his side and threw his arm over Diego’s chest, putting all his effort towards one last tongue-tangling kiss. Diego sighed softly and planted his fingers in Klaus’s hair before falling back asleep for a few more minutes. 

**********************************

”Okay, Diego, we gotta be quiet...” Klaus held his adoptive brother’s hand as they crept down to the main level kitchen. They had planned it out to make eggs and bacon, along with toast. They didn’t know what they would do with the food when they finished cooking it, but one of Klaus’s suggestions was giving it to Pogo. “He deserves the same respect as a mom, and I’ve never heard of National Chimp Day.” 

Diego got the eggs out of the fridge as Klaus got the bacon out of the freezer. They set the items on the counter, reading the instructions on the back. “Which one should we m-m-m-make first?” Diego whispered. 

Klaus flicked on both sides of the stove. “Why not at the same time? We have like, thirty pans.” 

Diego smiled and tapped Klaus on the nose. “Thirty-one, if we’re c-count-counting you.”

Klaus chuckled, blushing. “I guess so, yeah. Anyway, should we throw away the packaging now?” 

“It has th-the instructions on it. We shouldn’t throw away the instructions.” 

Klaus sighed, “Okay. I’ll take over cooking the bacon, then.” He greased the pan with a stick of butter, waiting till it made sizzling noises so he could throw the bacon on. “Does hypothetical mom like crispy or soft bacon?” 

“What if sh-she’s a v-v-vegetarian?” 

Klaus pointed to Diego’s eggs. “What if she’s vegan? And if we made toast, what if she’s gluten-free?” 

Diego rolled his eyes. “If she has that many r-re-restric-restrictions, then she can starve.” He cracked the eggs into a bowl and whisked them with a fork. He added milk and cheese, then poured it into the skillet. 

Klaus got an idea. “Do you think your knife skills apply to the kitchen set? Like, you're the best onion chopper in the world?” 

Diego laughed quietly. “Let’s t-test that.” He grabbed a knife from one of the wooden blocks, then an apple from the fridge. Positioning himself, he held the knife at the top. “One... two... go.” He started cutting it really quickly, then let out a yelp of pain. Klaus’s eyes widened as he rushed over. “J-Jesus...” Diego whimpered, holding up his hand. He had cut his finger, and it looked deep. 

Klaus gasped, “Oh my g— add pressure to it, okay? I’ll go find something. I’m so sorry, I–“ he started hyperventilating. Klaus wasn’t squeamish around blood, but he was terrified of pain and being around someone in pain. He dashed upstairs to the bathroom, knocking when he saw the door was closed. 

“What?” The voice belonged to Vanya. She opened the door. “Klaus? What’s up?” 

Klaus tried to form a sentence. “I... um... Diego... he...” 

Vanya put her hands on his shoulders. “Klaus, calm down. Just talk to me.” 

Klaus took a deep breath but his voice still shook. “Diego cut his hand.” 

Vanya bit her lip. “On purpose?” 

“N-No. We were testing his powers. But that’s not important. We just need a bandage or something!” he pushed past Vanya to get to the cupboard. “Where are the ace bandages?!” he whisper-shouted. 

Vanya sighed, “I think Ben’s using them. He says it hurts, but it’s worth it to him. Plus, you shouldn’t need them. Just a bandaid or something would work.” She handed him a blue box with a tube of Neosporin. Klaus was still whimpering and shaking, so she asked him, “Do you think it’s your fault?” 

“Yes.” 

“Why?” 

“I asked him if his knife skills worked in the kitchen and he actually tried it, and hurt himself while doing so. I’d say it’s my fault for putting the thought in his head.” 

“Was he being careful? Was he making sure his hand wasn’t in the way?” 

“I don’t think so...” 

Vanya hugged him. “Then I’d say it’s not your fault. Now, go help him.” Vanya lightly pushed him out of the bathroom. Klaus took one more shaky breath before heading back down to the kitchen. 

"Um, Diego?" Klaus peeked his head into the kitchen, glad to see when Diego was running cold water over the wound and taking occasional breaks when he needed to add some pressure. 

Diego looked over to him. "I-it doesn't hurt as much as it looks like," he lied, "You d-d-d-don't need to cry or anything; I didn't." The part about not crying was true, but he was already surprisingly good at not crying because Sir had taught him that crying was useless. 

Klaus sighed and handed him the first bandaid. He saw that his bacon had burnt and Diego's eggs looked like crap. "This was a bad idea, to begin with," he mumbled, "and to think it was mine..." 

Diego applied the bandage then spun around to cup Klaus's face in his hands. "No, don't say that about yourself. You did j-j-just fine. I should've paid better attention, and I should've turned off the stove when I noticed I had gotten injured. You did n-n-n-n-nothing wrong, o-okay?" Klaus whimpered and nodded his head. Diego gave him a comforting kiss, which seemed to take away the blame for a few seconds. "I-I-It's almost seven, so we should probably clean the k-kit-kitchen before everyone else is awake." 

"Vanya's awake," said Klaus, "She was brushing her hair or something when I had to get the supplies." 

Diego shrugged and put the skillets in the sink. "Just be glad it wasn't L-L-L-Luther. He would've told D-D-Dad." 

Klaus grabbed a spray bottle of cleaning solution from below the sink. "And then we'd be dead." 

* * *

Diego, age 29, walked to Klaus's room early in the morning. The Séance was curled up in his bed, snoring softly and hugging a stuffed tiger to his chest. Diego woke him up with a kiss. "W-Wake up," he whispered, "It's Mother's Day." 

Klaus looked up at him, confused. "Di?" he mumbled, "Oh... happy Mother's Day." 

Diego chuckled softly and paused before asking, "Do you want to help me make breakfast for hypothetical mother?" 

**Author's Note:**

> Grammarly does not understand how a stutter works.


End file.
